Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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