my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
When are your genitals available?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
