Whod you bang
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
