can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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