Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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