Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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