I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
