You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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