i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
