whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
