I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize