My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
