I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize