3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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