READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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