i jhust puked up my retainher.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
