so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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