why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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