A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
