i just had sex bonerless
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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