maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
