I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
