You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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