i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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