She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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