I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Randomize
