going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
