We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Randomize
