I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
