At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
