real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
