just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize