what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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