Got a toothbrush?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
