nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
