did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
two words...techno handjob
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
