just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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