Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
