Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
