Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
