she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's official drugs can't kill me
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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