I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
