Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
