and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
