And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
