Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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