Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize