So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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