You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
