We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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