toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
