I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
