If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
