i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
