pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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