ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
