I'm lost and stupid without you.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
it's like iHOP with fire
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
is it fun? or sober?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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