I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
