ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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